Incantation: "⍑ᒷ ⚍リᔑリ╎ᒲ𝙹⚍ᓭ dᒷᓵꖎᔑ∷ᔑℸ ̣
╎𝙹リ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎∷ℸ ̣ ᒷᒷリ ⚍リ╎ℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ sℸ ̣ ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷᓭ 𝙹⎓
aᒲᒷ∷╎ᓵᔑ w⍑ᒷリ ╎リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ c𝙹⚍∷ᓭᒷ 𝙹⎓ ⍑⚍ᒲᔑリ ᒷ⍊ᒷリℸ ̣ ᓭ ╎ℸ ̣
ʖᒷᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷᓭ リᒷᓵᒷᓭᓭᔑ∷|| ⎓𝙹∷ 𝙹リᒷ !¡ᒷ𝙹!¡ꖎᒷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ↸╎ᓭᓭ𝙹ꖎ⍊ᒷ ℸ ̣
⍑ᒷ !¡𝙹ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ╎ᓵᔑꖎ ʖᔑリ↸ᓭ ∴⍑╎ᓵ⍑ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ᓵ𝙹リリᒷᓵℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ
∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ᔑリ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᔑᓭᓭ⚍ᒲᒷ ᔑᒲ𝙹リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ !¡𝙹∴ᒷ∷ᓭ
𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᒷᔑ∷ℸ ̣ ⍑, ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᓭᒷ!¡ᔑ∷ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ ᔑリ↸ ᒷᑑ⚍ᔑꖎ ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑℸ ̣
╎𝙹リ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ∴⍑╎ᓵ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ lᔑ∴ᓭ 𝙹⎓ nᔑℸ ̣ ⚍∷ᒷ ᔑリ↸ 𝙹⎓ nᔑℸ ̣
⚍∷ᒷ'ᓭ g𝙹↸ ᒷリℸ ̣ ╎ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ, ᔑ ↸ᒷᓵᒷリℸ ̣ ∷ᒷᓭ!¡ᒷᓵℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹
ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ 𝙹!¡╎リ╎𝙹リᓭ 𝙹⎓ ᒲᔑリꖌ╎リ↸ ∷ᒷᑑ⚍╎∷ᒷᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ||
ᓭ⍑𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ↸ᒷᓵꖎᔑ∷ᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᓵᔑ⚍ᓭᒷᓭ ∴⍑╎ᓵ⍑ ╎ᒲ!¡ᒷꖎ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ℸ ̣
⍑ᒷ ᓭᒷ!¡ᔑ∷ᔑℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リ. ⍑𝙹ꖎ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᓭᒷ ℸ ̣ ∷⚍ℸ ̣ ⍑ᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ʖᒷ
ᓭᒷꖎ⎓-ᒷ⍊╎↸ᒷリℸ ̣ , ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᔑꖎꖎ ᒲᒷリ ᔑ∷ᒷ ᓵ∷ᒷᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ ᒷᑑ⚍ᔑꖎ, ℸ
̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ|| ᔑ∷ᒷ ᒷリ↸𝙹∴ᒷ↸ ʖ|| ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ c∷ᒷᔑℸ ̣ 𝙹∷ ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑
ᓵᒷ∷ℸ ̣ ᔑ╎リ ⚍リᔑꖎ╎ᒷリᔑʖꖎᒷ r╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ᓭ, ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᔑᒲ𝙹リ⊣ ℸ ̣
⍑ᒷᓭᒷ ᔑ∷ᒷ l╎⎓ᒷ, l╎ʖᒷ∷ℸ ̣ || ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ !¡⚍∷ᓭ⚍╎ℸ ̣ 𝙹⎓
hᔑ!¡!¡╎リᒷᓭᓭ. — t⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᓭᒷᓵ⚍∷ᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᓭᒷ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ᓭ,
g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒲᒷリℸ ̣ ᓭ ᔑ∷ᒷ ╎リᓭℸ ̣ ╎ℸ ̣ ⚍ℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ ᔑᒲ𝙹リ⊣ mᒷリ,
↸ᒷ∷╎⍊╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ !¡𝙹∴ᒷ∷ᓭ ⎓∷𝙹ᒲ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᓵ𝙹リᓭᒷリℸ ̣ 𝙹⎓
ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⊣𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒷ↸, — t⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ∴⍑ᒷリᒷ⍊ᒷ∷ ᔑリ|| f𝙹∷ᒲ 𝙹⎓
g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒲᒷリℸ ̣ ʖᒷᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷᓭ ↸ᒷᓭℸ ̣ ∷⚍ᓵℸ ̣ ╎⍊ᒷ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᓭᒷ ᒷリ↸ᓭ,
╎ℸ ̣ ╎ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ r╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ pᒷ𝙹!¡ꖎᒷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᔑꖎℸ ̣ ᒷ∷ 𝙹∷ ℸ ̣
𝙹 ᔑʖ𝙹ꖎ╎ᓭ⍑ ╎ℸ ̣ , ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ╎リᓭℸ ̣ ╎ℸ ̣ ⚍ℸ ̣ ᒷ リᒷ∴
g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒲᒷリℸ ̣ , ꖎᔑ||╎リ⊣ ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ ⎓𝙹⚍リ↸ᔑℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リ 𝙹リ ᓭ⚍ᓵ⍑
!¡∷╎リᓵ╎!¡ꖎᒷᓭ ᔑリ↸ 𝙹∷⊣ᔑリ╎⨅╎リ⊣ ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ !¡𝙹∴ᒷ∷ᓭ ╎リ ᓭ⚍ᓵ⍑
⎓𝙹∷ᒲ, ᔑᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ ᓭ⍑ᔑꖎꖎ ᓭᒷᒷᒲ ᒲ𝙹ᓭℸ ̣ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷꖎ|| ℸ ̣ 𝙹
ᒷ⎓⎓ᒷᓵℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ sᔑ⎓ᒷℸ ̣ || ᔑリ↸ hᔑ!¡!¡╎リᒷᓭᓭ. P∷⚍↸ᒷリᓵᒷ,
╎リ↸ᒷᒷ↸, ∴╎ꖎꖎ ↸╎ᓵℸ ̣ ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒲᒷリℸ ̣ ᓭ ꖎ𝙹リ⊣
ᒷᓭℸ ̣ ᔑʖꖎ╎ᓭ⍑ᒷ↸ ᓭ⍑𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ʖᒷ ᓵ⍑ᔑリ⊣ᒷ↸ ⎓𝙹∷ ꖎ╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ℸ
̣ ∷ᔑリᓭ╎ᒷリℸ ̣ ᓵᔑ⚍ᓭᒷᓭ; ᔑリ↸ ᔑᓵᓵ𝙹∷↸╎リ⊣ꖎ|| ᔑꖎꖎ ᒷ
̇/!¡ᒷ∷╎ᒷリᓵᒷ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ⍑ ᓭ⍑ᒷ∴リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᒲᔑリꖌ╎リ↸ ᔑ∷ᒷ ᒲ𝙹∷ᒷ
↸╎ᓭ!¡𝙹ᓭᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᓭ⚍⎓⎓ᒷ∷, ∴⍑╎ꖎᒷ ᒷ⍊╎ꖎᓭ ᔑ∷ᒷ ᓭ⚍⎓⎓ᒷ∷ᔑʖꖎᒷ ℸ ̣
⍑ᔑリ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲᓭᒷꖎ⍊ᒷᓭ ʖ|| ᔑʖ𝙹ꖎ╎ᓭ⍑╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ
⎓𝙹∷ᒲᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ∴⍑╎ᓵ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ|| ᔑ∷ᒷ ᔑᓵᓵ⚍ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹ᒲᒷ↸. B⚍ℸ ̣ ∴⍑ᒷリ ᔑ
ꖎ𝙹リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ╎リ 𝙹⎓ ᔑʖ⚍ᓭᒷᓭ ᔑリ↸ ⚍ᓭ⚍∷!¡ᔑℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リᓭ,
!¡⚍∷ᓭ⚍╎リ⊣ ╎リ⍊ᔑ∷╎ᔑʖꖎ|| ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᓭᔑᒲᒷ oʖ⋮ᒷᓵℸ ̣ ᒷ⍊╎リᓵᒷᓭ ᔑ
↸ᒷᓭ╎⊣リ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ∷ᒷ↸⚍ᓵᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ ᔑʖᓭ𝙹ꖎ⚍ℸ ̣ ᒷ dᒷᓭ!¡𝙹ℸ ̣
╎ᓭᒲ, ╎ℸ ̣ ╎ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ , ╎ℸ ̣ ╎ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ ↸⚍ℸ ̣ ||, ℸ ̣
𝙹 ℸ ̣ ⍑∷𝙹∴ 𝙹⎓⎓ ᓭ⚍ᓵ⍑ g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒲᒷリℸ ̣ , ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 !¡∷𝙹⍊╎↸ᒷ
リᒷ∴ g⚍ᔑ∷↸ᓭ ⎓𝙹∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ ⎓⚍ℸ ̣ ⚍∷ᒷ ᓭᒷᓵ⚍∷╎ℸ ̣ ||. — s⚍ᓵ⍑ ⍑ᔑᓭ
ʖᒷᒷリ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ !¡ᔑℸ ̣ ╎ᒷリℸ ̣ ᓭ⚍⎓⎓ᒷ∷ᔑリᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᓭᒷ
c𝙹ꖎ𝙹リ╎ᒷᓭ; ᔑリ↸ ᓭ⚍ᓵ⍑ ╎ᓭ リ𝙹∴ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ リᒷᓵᒷᓭᓭ╎ℸ ̣ || ∴⍑╎ᓵ⍑
ᓵ𝙹リᓭℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ╎リᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᔑꖎℸ ̣ ᒷ∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ╎∷ ⎓𝙹∷ᒲᒷ∷ s||ᓭℸ ̣
ᒷᒲᓭ 𝙹⎓ g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リᒲᒷリℸ ̣. T⍑ᒷ ⍑╎ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹∷|| 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ ⍑ᔑᓭ ∷ᒷ⎓⚍ᓭᒷ↸
⍑╎ᓭ aᓭᓭᒷリℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 lᔑ∴ᓭ, ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᒲ𝙹ᓭℸ ̣ ∴⍑𝙹ꖎᒷᓭ𝙹ᒲᒷ ᔑリ↸
リᒷᓵᒷᓭᓭᔑ∷|| ⎓𝙹∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ !¡⚍ʖꖎ╎ᓵ ⊣𝙹𝙹↸. hᒷ ⍑ᔑᓭ ⎓𝙹∷ʖ╎↸↸ᒷリ
⍑╎ᓭ g𝙹⍊ᒷ∷リ𝙹∷ᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 !¡ᔑᓭᓭ lᔑ∴ᓭ 𝙹⎓ ╎ᒲᒲᒷ↸╎ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ ᔑリ↸
!¡∷ᒷᓭᓭ╎リ⊣ ╎ᒲ!¡𝙹∷ℸ ̣ ᔑリᓵᒷ, ⚍リꖎᒷᓭᓭ ᓭ⚍ᓭ!¡ᒷリ↸ᒷ↸ ╎リ ℸ ̣
⍑ᒷ╎∷ 𝙹!¡ᒷ∷ᔑℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リ ℸ ̣ ╎ꖎꖎ ⍑╎ᓭ aᓭᓭᒷリℸ ̣ ᓭ⍑𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ʖᒷ 𝙹ʖℸ ̣
ᔑ╎リᒷ↸; ᔑリ↸ ∴⍑ᒷリ ᓭ𝙹 ᓭ⚍ᓭ!¡ᒷリ↸ᒷ↸, ⍑ᒷ ⍑ᔑᓭ ⚍ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ᒷ∷ꖎ||
リᒷ⊣ꖎᒷᓵℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᔑℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ᒷリ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ. ⎓⚍ᓭᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹
!¡ᔑᓭᓭ 𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ lᔑ∴ᓭ ⎓𝙹∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᔑᓵᓵ𝙹ᒲᒲ𝙹↸ᔑℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リ 𝙹⎓ ꖎᔑ∷⊣ᒷ
↸╎ᓭℸ ̣ ∷╎ᓵℸ ̣ ᓭ 𝙹⎓ !¡ᒷ𝙹!¡ꖎᒷ, ⚍リꖎᒷᓭᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑𝙹ᓭᒷ !¡ᒷ𝙹!¡ꖎᒷ
∴𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ∷ᒷꖎ╎リᑑ⚍╎ᓭ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ 𝙹⎓ rᒷ!¡∷ᒷᓭᒷリℸ ̣ ᔑℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リ
╎リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ lᒷ⊣╎ᓭꖎᔑℸ ̣ ⚍∷ᒷ, ᔑ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ╎リᒷᓭℸ ̣ ╎ᒲᔑʖꖎᒷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ℸ ̣
⍑ᒷᒲ ᔑリ↸ ⎓𝙹∷ᒲ╎↸ᔑʖꖎᒷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ℸ ̣ ||∷ᔑリℸ ̣ ᓭ 𝙹リꖎ||."
Effect: Target experiences perpetual
development hell. Every project they touch becomes an
endless maze of dependencies, version conflicts, and
breaking changes. Their code repositories multiply like
hydra heads - fix one issue, two more appear.
Duration: Until stack overflow is
mastered.
Side Effects: Compulsive reading of
documentation at 3 AM, speaking in error codes, and the
inexplicable urge to rewrite everything from scratch.
Cure: Touch grass, step away from the
keyboard, and remember there's a world beyond the
terminal.